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What am I doing?

February 4, 2011 by Laura

You came here to read about getting healthy, right? Or to read about my “journey” to vibrant health, perhaps? You might get some of that. But you’ll be wading through my ramblings about life, kids, politics, pets, and my neuroses.

My name is Laura, and I am a foodie. I’m also a nurse, mom, wife, Subaru-driving, farmer’s-market-shopping, Huff Post reading, Quaker,┬ácard carrying member of the ACLU-type. If you don’t think you’re going to like me, you are free to leave. More about me on the “About me” page.

So I started this about the same time I decided to change my eating habits and style from your basic “reasonably healthy” to UNreasonably healthy. Ridiculously healthy. Because I want that GLOW, goddammit. The creepy vegan glow, yes, oh yes, it will be mine. I want to be the person that causes me to roll my eyes at my own flaxseed consumption.

And let’s face it: this is about vanity & fear of the inevitable. Here’s the current status: 3 1/2 years ago, at age 38, I gave birth to Amos. 6 months ago I had boy number 2, aka Guthrie. Advanced Maternal Age does not lend itself to the swift recovery of a flat stomach & a size 6 low-rise ass, especially if you are not possessed of those qualities prior to getting pregnant. But I have a wedding to attend in July. Not just any wedding, but my brother’s wedding. And I am a bridesmaid. And by God, I will NOT be photographed in beige in my current condition.

Just how bad has it gotten? Pretty bad. Without going into specifics, my BMI is in the “overweight” range. I get out of breath running up the stairs, and today I was asked if I was my baby’s grandmother. Hmph!

“So, Chubby, whatcha gonna do now?” you ask. Attention Whole Foods Shoppers! Have you ever seen those ANDI scores on the veggies at Whole Foods? Well, I did, and I wondered, “What are those things?” Through the magic of the Interwebs, I found this. And being a person given to dogma and extremism, I decided right then to become a “nutritarian.”

More to come, including sexy food photos, recipes, and sugar withdrawal induced ravings. Stay tuned…


11 Comments

  1. Ben says:

    Go sister! (Pam will probably change the bridesmaids’ color to black, for irony’s sake.)

  2. Elie says:

    Cheering you on from the East Coast!

    Can you make it so that when you click on a link I don’t leave your website?

  3. Don Root says:

    I’ve found the best diet is eating undigestible things like ball bearings. Or if I really get hungry, only slightly digestible things like, say, origami cranes.

  4. slow engine says:

    I can’t wait for your first video. Tip: Include live animals (or stuffed). I wonder what Guthrie will look like in August?

  5. Ginny says:

    Yay for you Laura! Great blog too.
    I am confused about the ANDI scores. I am trying to figure out how iceberg lettuce has 110 points while an orange has 109. Can you explain it to me like I am a friend of Amos’s?

    • Laura says:

      Hi Ginny! Thanks! ANDI scores are an expression of micronutrients per calorie. Iceberg lettuce has virtually no calories (8 in 1 cup of shredded lettuce), and still has decent amounts of fiber & micronutrients. Oranges, on the other hand, have more sugar & therefore higher caloric value (180 in a cup of orange segments). Doesn’t mean that iceberg lettuce is better than oranges. It’s like comparing lettuce & oranges.

  6. Banana says:

    Impressed by your new regimen–will try that smoothie, too.
    BTW, I do remember that Mozzarella poem very well.
    Can’t believe that Kale has such a high ANDI rating.
    How is Guthrie reacting to the new diet?

  7. connie z says:

    Dear Daughter-in-law, I applaud your courage, tenacity, and wonderful sense of humor. YOU GO, GIRL! YOU CAN WILL DO THIS.

    Love, Connie

  8. Kay says:

    Laura: The YouTube video was adorable, funny, and Guthrie steals the show. Amos, of course, is gorgeous, talented (maybe he’s going to be an artist?), and terribly bright! I love your blog – so interesting, funny – you have such a great sense of humor about a terribly difficult endeavor (I can commiserate). I wish you good luck. I’ve always known you to be a winner!!! I know you will succeed. With Love, Kay

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