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It’s that time of year again…

December 27, 2012 by Laura

when those of us with inconsistent habits (or a habit of inconsistency), few formal goals, a propensity for indulgence and sloth, and a love of dairy fat, wheat and feeling a little tipsy start feeling badly about ourselves. We next make wild promises of self-improvement in an attempt to rectify the situation or to at least appear to make an effort. Memberships are activated, athletic clothing is purchased, kitchens are purged. Menfolk weep at the sight of cured meats, cheese spreads, and nut brittles being packed off for work break rooms.

Since my last post, I have spent most of my days trying desperately to fit back into my size 12 jeans. Size 8 (ok, 10) was just attracting too much attention from the cougar hunters. It’s embarrassing having all those 28 year old dudes staring. Dale had to punch someone, and well, I thought I’d better just eat chocolate croissants and keep the peace. It was a sacrifice, to be sure.

But last week some delighted old bag in the cafeteria asked my 44 year old self if I was, “in a motherly way.” After I slapped her dentures across the room (in my mind), I took my pickle-enhanced lunch to a dark, lonely, corner table and took stock. No I didn’t. I just ate a bunch of chips and felt bad about my abs. I didn’t take stock at all. I kind of whimpered a little bit.

But then I remembered MY BLOG! (Well not just then, just then my ridiculously short 30 minute lunch break ended, and I had to haul my pregnant-looking ass back up to the ICU to care for my obese patient.) I remembered how much I love writing about how healthy I occasionally am. So I’m back! Yay me!

Okay, here’s where I’m at, as they say in places where it’s okay to talk like that: I have signed up to run a half marathon on August 25, one day after my 45th birthday. I am signed up for a 5k on St. Patrick’s Day and am looking for a 10k in there somewhere. I cleaned out the kitchen of all things non-Nutritarian (remember, that’s my deal), and I bought a bazillion dollars worth of running shoes and Lycra tights (which really means one pair of each). C25K starts Friday. I’d start today, but I have a tebbible code id by dose.

So, you want to know what’s for dinner tonight? Teriyaki Chicken drumsticks (gotta use up some stuff), Black rice salad, and Brussels sprouts. At least the kiddos will eat the chicken.

Year end stats: 5’4″, 156 (ish), and 0 miles. By this time next year, I’d like to be 5’7″.

Happy New Year!




  1. Karen says:

    You really crack me up! I love not only your superior writing skills, but your honesty about inconsistency and therefore, lack of self-righteousness. (Well you’re probably a little self-righteous in your head; what red-blooded Nutritarian wouldn’t be?) Carry on, and good luck with that height gain.

  2. Methiag says:

    You’re so funny Laura! Thanks for sharing your humor with the rest of us with these same inflictions.

  3. Meryl Shaw says:

    I’m with you, Laura! Between a couple of stumbling blocks (injured shoulder, sciatic nerve pain) and holiday eating, and prolonged honeymoon celebrating, I’m not where I want to be to usher in a new not-to-be-named decade in February! Behavioral change, according to the best research, can only take place when the person is really, really ready. Sounds like you are, and I am, too! For me, it’s really a low-carb/Paleo eating plan that works best for me. So come January 1, good-bye baguettes, mid-week drinking, pizza, baked goods of any kind, etc. I have to restrict any kind of impact exercise for a while to allow my back to heal, but walking and low-impact workouts, and core strengthening are on!
    Here’s to us!!!

  4. Sharyndimmick says:

    Half marathons are not my style, Laura, but I applaud you for exercising. Will be bringing contraband to the party on Sunday but can take any remainders away with me!

  5. Grateful for an inspiring and articulate friend like you! <3 Let this be a good year!

  6. Elvira says:

    love your humour!

  7. SHAZ says:

    hysterically funny blog Laura…struggling with same issues myself, just a decade out! SHAZ in Freeport ME

  8. Trina Grady says:

    oh, you make me smile….

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